Non-Defensive Communication

All you Coaches out there lets discuss Non-Defensive Communication and the impact you can have on or with your team:

1. Description vs. Evaluation:

Use neutral facts that avoid any “loaded” words or judgments.

“I feel like my opinion isn’t valued when you don’t ask me what my thoughts are.” (Descriptive) instead of “You don’t care what I think.” (Evaluative)

2. Collaboration vs. Control: 

Working towards a win-win where everyone’s voice and opinion are as important as the next person’s.

“What do you see that’s working and what’s not working?” (Collaborative) instead of “I know you think you’re right but I know best because I’m the coach.” (Control)

3. Straightforwardness vs. Manipulation: 

Direct, candid, unambiguous, open, and honest communication.

“We’re not starting you although you are scoring more this season because when you’re in the game, our team has lost by 25 points in your minutes over the last 5 games.” (Straightforward) instead of “If you just put in extra time before and after practice, that’s what we need to see for you to play more.” (Manipulation)

4, Empathy vs Indifference: 

Trying to relate to others’ perspectives to understand their perspective and promote a climate of care and respect.

“You were late to practice today. Help me understand what went wrong and how I can help you get here on time.” (empathy) instead of “Everyone has issues! If you can’t get here on time, you’re not learning what we are trying to teach you!” (Indifference)

5. Equality vs. Superiority: 

A sense of fairness, justness, and impartiality to the situation. Everyone has the same chance.

“I remember struggling when I was a freshman. It’s going to take some time, but I will help you learn faster.” (Equality) instead of “How many times have I shown you exactly how we’re supposed to do this? Here, let me do it.” (Superiority).

6. Flexibility vs. Certainty: 

Showing openness to new ideas and flexibility in discussions that lead to innovative solutions and greater buy-in

“I wonder if there’s a way we could do this better.” (Flexible) instead of “I’ve done this a million times and it always works. This is the best way to do it.” (Certainty)

Conclusion:

It's not about volume but about the impact of your voice. We champion leadership that's less about command and more about collaboration. Lead with humility, spark innovation with empathy, and embrace the power of every team member's voice. Let's not just lead; let's inspire a movement of thinkers, doers, and trailblazers. Here's to transforming the way we communicate, one empowering conversation at a time.