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Basic Steps to Gain a Forgiving Spirit

It is one thing to agree to forgive someone after they offend you. It is a different thing to have a spirit of forgiveness toward every offender whom God allows to come into your life. In order to gain this, we must understand the following factors.


  1. Realize that God is working Through the Actions of your Offenders

As long we think that the one who hurts us is acting independently, we can hardly help growing bitter. But as soon as we realize that God "raised them up" for a specific purpose in our lives, we will be able to gain a forgiving spirit. They may think evil against us, but God means it for good. (Genesis 50:20) "Surely the wrath of man shall praise Thee: the remainder of wrath shalt not restrain." (Psalm 76:10)


2. Thank God for the Benefits He plans through each Offense

God's command to give thanks in all things is especially essential at this point. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) We don't have to be thankful in order to thank God. Thanking God is an act of the will. Being thankful is an act of the emotions.

When our lives are dedicated to God, He puts a protective wall around us so that nothing can touch us except that which God permits. He permits it for a purpose, and this purpose is for our ultimate joy and reward. It is for this reason we can thank God for each offense.


3. Discern what Character Qualities God wants to Develop in me through the Offense

When we wrongly react to an offender, we are revealing various lacks of character which need to be developed such as love, meekness, patience, faith, gentleness, self-control, etc. Even if we respond correctly to an offender, other qualities will have to be strengthened such as joy, peace, godliness, etc.


4. Expect to Suffer for Doing Right as a Normal part of Christian Living

Many of us have mistaken the idea that if we are Christians we won't have to suffer, yet the Scripture clearly states, "For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for His sake." (Philippians 1:29) "Yea, and all that will live Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." (2 Timothy 3:12) "If we suffer we shall also reign with Him." (2 Timothy 2:12)


The great news is when God allows someone to offend us, He is entrusting to us the responsibility of demonstrating Christ's love and presence to Him. Who can stand in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ very long and remain the same person?


The purpose of our life's calling: "For this is thankworthy, if a person for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully... for even hereunto were ye called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow in His steps."


The Example: "He did no sin, neither was guile found in His mouth: who, when He was reviled, reviled not again: when He suffered, He threatened not: but committed Himself to Him that judgeth righteously: He bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness:

The Result: "By His stripes you were healed." (1 Peter 2:19, 21-24)


The Basis of Removing Unbelief:


If a Christian would respond to those whom God has brought into their life as Christ did to those that abused Him, they would see a new response on their part toward the Gospel.

An example:

One evening a woman made a hurried visit to the home of a family which I was visiting. I had not seen her for quite some time, so I inquired, "How is everything going for you?" Her reply was, Horrible! I'm getting a divorce. I can't stand to live with that man any longer!"

I asked her if I could give her a three minute message. She agreed. I asked her if she could visualize the abuse and beatings and rejection and agony which Jesus Christ suffered in His life. She said she could. I emphasized that His response to those who did it to Him was one of love and forgiveness, and by His stripes we were healed according to 1 Peter 2:19-24.

I then asked her if she knew that the very next verse was following this section in scripture? She didn't and was startled to hear it - "Likewise, ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands: that if any of them obey not the word, they also may be without the word, be won by the conduct of the wives." (1 Peter 3:1) Six verses later it also states the same applies to husbands. "Likewise, ye husbands …"


The energizing power needed to live the entire Christian life is called in Scripture, "The Grace of God." (1 Corinthians 15:10 / Titus 2:11-12, etc.) God gives a certain amount of this grace to every person, but the proud resist the grace they get and lose God's power. how do we get more grace? "God resisteth the proud but giveth grace unto the humble" James 4:6

Thus, when ever we are humbled, we receive at that moment an added measure of God's Grace! We just have to recognize it and accept and apply it to the occasion or situation. I pray that God gives us the understanding to die to Self and commit our lives to living our lives as Jesus Christ did!




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